You say Salida I say Saloada.

I have passed through Salida, but Chula deemed it a destination. On the drive there I asked "Why Salida?"

"Good trails, cute artsy shops and a beer festival." OK. Rolled into town and got top notch recommendations for trails, directions and maps from here. Headed out for a loop within an hour of arriving. Perfect ride: long fire road climb, single track dodging in and out of forests with berms and water bar jumps, followed by a long descent in front of the rain and into the hotel pool. Met up with Chula, who poked around the cute shops. Everyone is happy. Next morning different fire roads, single track and perfect bench cut trails. Each ride did not require driving which was nice before the long trip home.

Passing through Leadville on the way home Chula asked, like a few others "You doing that ride again?"

"No."

"What would it take for you to ride it again?"

After contemplation, I said it would take my new invention which you can buy for $24.99. I saw an infomercial for this, which gave me the idea for a frame pump you can discretely piss in without having to stop. But wait, there's more! Once the reservoir is full, you can use the pump action to squirt mean riders, pesky fans or chasing dogs. (Based on the pissing contest in this year's rubber underwear ride in France, I am certain this will be in the pro peloton soon.) It will also do this, but much faster. This product provides personal comfort, protection, necessary flat- fixing equipment and great European styling.

You can be a part of this historic moment by helping me name my new invention.

1. PissPump
2. 1:19 (the time I missed 9 hours by, kinda like this but dwelling on failure.)
   
3. You'rethra the Winner or a Loser
4. P.P.E.Z.S.S.P. - Peepee EZ Super Soaker Pump