Bittersweet Valley of the Blind

Huffy has fans everywhere. Even events he does not attend. Go Huffy.

At Leadville, Lance gets the VIP treatment, does not have to sign in and gets shuttled around. Weins signs in like everyone else and is escorted by his children, wife and brother. Who is the superstar here?

First and foremost, Tenacious Pink owned Leadville. After the race she was "I am happy I never have to do that again." Twenty-four hours later she states: "I can go faster and am going back." TP is my hero and should be yours.

Saturday started like most 100 mile events: too early. We elbowed our way to a modest starting positions and waited 20 minutes till the start. They introduced Weins and the crowd went wild. They introduced Lance, and he got booed. It is probably the only place where Lance would get booed.

Then the shotgun start, and they are off. Well, most people are off. We had to wait another minute before we actually got rolling because we were pretty far back. The start of Leadville is sketchy at best. The first climb is cluster f*** because a bunch of goofballs hammer to the front during the first paved descent, then explode on the first climb. I dodged the carnage and kept thinking "It is OK to go this slow because it just means more energy for later, be patient..." I met super fan Chula at the dam for drinks and a race update. What?? Lance in the second group. I headed out and took a super piss like I had been drinking these all morning. Good sign-- hydrated. Climbing up to the Columbine Mine was like picking my way through a jungle of lies. Then Lance comes flying by with Weins in hot pursuit. The race was on!

The descent off Columbine Mine is fantastic. The race was starting to thin out, get relaxing and fun. After the descent I took another monster piss like I had been drinking these. Super fan gave another race update and drinks at the dam. Big props to Chula for tolerating the stupidity of Leadville.

I had a shot at 9 hours and now was the time to use all the energy I had saved being patiently stuck behind people on climbs. I rode Powerline, which I have never done, and then took a monster piss which created some rill erosion at the first false flat. Riding Powerline meant things were going well. On the last climb of the day going over Sugarloaf, my right shifter blew out. It was seven years old, and the pin holding the levers together decided it was done. No problem: rolled in the last 20 miles with a three-speed. At this point I knew it would be close. I was digging. The final stretch I had a good tail wind and would wind it up on my three speed then coast, wind it up and coast....this was the only time in my life I really wish I could of shifted into my 11t cog. Did I mention I had to piss again? This time I was not stopping because it was going to be within minutes of the 9 hour mark. I buried myself and came by at 9:01:19.

Bummer, but I had to piss. After I peed, it sunk in. I missed it by 1:19. Walking around after the race I chatted with another rider who made it just under 9 hours. He asked "Anything you could have done different?" I offered better start position because it was a minute before I got rolling and had to be patient on the first two climbs waiting for other riders. He looked at me for a better response. I suggested "uhh, I guess I could of not stopped to piss?" Stunned, he says, "I pissed my shorts 3 times and never leave it to chance." Wow. I easily pissed away my 9 hour Leadville. I figure each of the three stops were at least 2 minutes. So the question is: Should I have pissed my pants to finish Leadville in under 9 hours? It sure feels like it today.